so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
