do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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