:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
