Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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