Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Randomize
