Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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