Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
