Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My hand turned me down
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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