it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
