I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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