is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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