When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
