Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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