i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
