Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Non-Jews are for practice
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
