After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize