Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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