I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
