half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
