I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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