I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
