in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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