You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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