you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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