my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
