I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
