Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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