you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
