I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My ass is underappreciated
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