Already got asked if we're dating
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
