i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
