i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
we're so committed to being not committed
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