I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Did I show you my penis last night?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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