you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We are two peas in an std pod
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
