remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
