it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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