Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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