the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
