i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
