i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
