I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
