my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
