yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
