I want to have your abortion
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
