Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
