is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
