Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
