Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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