You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
