He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
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the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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