i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
