I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
