i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
