Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
