the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it because I queefed?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
