what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize