I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
