You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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