You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
