I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
bring money and cleavage
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
