@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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