So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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